Approaching two weeks alcohol free. I haven’t missed it (yet anyway). I’m sleeping better every day. I am feeling well. And by comparison, I was almost always feeling sick before. I must let that sink in…not in a self-flogging manor…just in an honest way.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I spent it with my daughter and her fiancé, at my home. It was a truly lovely day, from start to finish. We prepared our dinner from scratch together. After dinner we sat at the table for hours talking about all sorts of things from philosophy to economics. I honestly (and gratefully, now that I reflect) didn’t think much of alcohol at all. For dinner we had kombucha in stemware, then coffee with dessert.
I’m not sure if I’ve been given some huge cosmic gift in that I am actually liking being sober and sentient better than drinking…or is this one of those pink-cloud things…and some shoe is going to drop soon? Perhaps both are true…this IS a gift, and I have some shoes about to drop in the form of family and financial stuff (that I will navigate 100% more wisely with a clear mind and healthy body.)
So far, I have decided to stay alcohol-free and to seek truth, wherever that leads me. I’m also taking measures to protect myself as I heal (like avoiding unnecessary toxic people and places, self-care etc). I am still scared. But I also have faith.
Jenn
HealthyJen 
It is just reality. When we don’t drink we feel better, mentally and emotionally.
I never realized how inward focused I was until I got rid of the booze. Everything was about me and how I was impacted.
Yikes.
Now I respect me, but I see things as they are. The world isn’t against me. I am not keeping it going, either. This just are.
It is a very strange time right now. So much change and anger and fear. I’m glad I can step back from it, even just a bit.
You are in the right path. This isn’t a pink cloud. This is the opportunity and potential of freedom.
Hugs and love
Anne
Thanks Anne. You are so right. When you said, “The world isn’t against me. I am not keeping it going either”…I realize that I think that way when drinking…sounds so ugly and selfish. I think I’ve drank to try and numb the pain that others have caused me…but I just end up over-focused on myself and stuck in the pain, angry at other people (who I cannot do anything about), meanwhile doing nothing to actually heal or set boundaries (things I do control).
At the very bottom of it, addition is completely selfish and self focused. That is the only way any of us would keep doing it, even when losing things.
It’s just impossible to see that from the dark hole.
Once you do, going back to it doesn’t seem like as good as idea.
Low key. I like things better with less people.